For the number of hours I have spent watching sports in my life, I am not particularly skilled at being able to predict future outcomes. I have a hard time forecasting when the next touchdown will be thrown or where the next ball will be hit. To the casual observer, this probably sounds normal. You don’t get your own show in Vegas for not being psychic. However, many of my sports enthusiast friends can predict, at least with more than random accuracy, what is about to transpire in a given game. My mom even called a homerun in tonight’s Twins game. This drives me nuts!
I think it drives me nuts because I don’t have that gift and I don’t know why. These guys aren’t bigger sports fans than I. We watch the same things and yet I fail to pick up on the subtleties that allow them to make an educated guess on what is going to unfold. I think that I am so programmed to record what happens that I have permanently deactivated the part of my brain that can analyze a situation and select the next logical event. It’s a good thing that happened after I took the ACT.
But one time, one glorious time, I went out on a limb during a game and accurately predicted an outcome. The best part about it was that it took place in a very public setting and one of my best friends was there to witness it, so it really happened.
We were sitting in left field at Coors Field watching the Cubs and Rockies. The Cubs were down the whole game and the sea of Cubs fans around us was pretty somber. Late in the game, the Cubs made a bit of a rally to pull within a few runs. Before it got too close, the Rockies decided to slam the door and brought in their closer at the time, Shawn Chacon.
At that moment, I believe the spirit of Harry Caray entered my body. Out of nowhere, I leapt to my feet and yelled “Chacon! They’re bringing in Chacon! Hey everyone, we are going to win this game. They’re bringing in Chacon!”
A public outburst like that is roughly the exact opposite of my normal behavior. And I was stone sober at the time.
As Chacon took his warm up pitches, I could tell the fans around us were eyeing me suspiciously. I think that they were trying to decide if I knew something they didn’t or if they should flag down a security guard. When your team is trailing, seeing the opposing club’s closer take the mound is hardly an occasion to cheer.
Since I am sharing the story, you know what happened next. Chacon uncorked a couple of wild pitches, gave up some hits, coughed up a few runs, and blew the save. The Cubs won the game and the people in my section looked at me like I was a prophet. I am left with a great memory, all because Chacon choked.
Chacon performed a different form of choking on Wednesday. He was suspended indefinitely by the Houston Astros for insubordination after reportedly grabbing general manager Ed Wade by the neck and throwing him to the ground.
Chacon, upset after getting demoted to the bullpen over the weekend, told the Houston Chronicle this problem began when Wade saw him in the dining room before the game against Texas. Wade wanted to meet with Chacon in manager Cecil Cooper’s office, the pitcher said. The two exchanged several heated words before Chacon ultimately ended up on top of Wade on the floor.
Chacon was initially suspended indefinitely. The chain of command in a professional sports organization can be difficult to define, but Wade was roughly Chacon’s boss’s boss. What would happen to you if you threw your boss’s boss to the ground? Chances are you would be updating the old resume.
Will Chacon have to do the same? He wasn’t exactly having a horrible year. Chacon, who was released by Houston, is 2-3 with a 5.04 ERA in 15 starts. The right-hander set a major league record with nine straight no-decisions to start the season. He has starting and relief experience. Since pitching is always in great demand around the trading deadline, I am going to put my fortune telling hat back on and predict that he will be active in the majors by August 1. That way someone else can shriek with glee, “They’re bringing in Chacon!”